Tuesday, October 13, 2009


1)”You remind me of a girl that I once knew.” Usher wasn’t playing when he sang about his bout with Déjà Vu, but if Beyoncé reminds you of someone in your past, it may not exactly be a pleasant memory. Did any of you go to school with that girl who was balancing Student Council, Track and Field and in her spare time was the head of the Cheerleading Squad, while you were merely hoping to have a chance to at least make Student of the Week? Did I forget to mention that she was also dating the captain of the football team while you were still combing through the school directory hoping to will yourself a first date? Well, Beyoncé may unconsciously remind you of that girl that you hated who with the blink of an eye had and did everything you wanted too.

2) Your man wants her.Referring to the story within the letter of course, but also enforcing the idea that this letter mirrors so many male opinions. She has landed on many a male magazine polls on who they feel is the sexiest women alive and if that doesn’t further this simple argument, then consider this: In 2007 she became the first and only singer to grace the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

3) Even on her worst day she’s still so damn beautiful, or is she?Has anybody ever seen Beyoncé without her year round costume on? Of course I’m speaking lightly on the gobs of make up and hair extensions we’re so accustomed to seeing her sporting at every venue and event she attends. Sure Barbie looks good when you first take her out of the box, but after you’ve played with her for a while she loses her luster, her hair goes flat, and she becomes a bit dingy. Without all that makeup and weave, would Beyoncé still carry her torch of defining perfected beauty, or would the flame slowly die at the pluck of each individual eyelash? Just a question.

4) As if she didn’t have enough money of her own, she had to run out and marry Jay-Z, who ’s got plenty more to add to their ever-growing bank account.Some people can’t even pay the rent, let alone find a decent man in life who’s willing to contribute to life’s simple and monetary household needs. Beyoncé’s estimated net worth is sitting on a comfortable $350 million; when you factor in her boo’s acquired income, the two love birds are sitting easy on a billi. Can I get some bailout money from them?

5) People constantly revere her as the best, which makes her an easy front-runner for being the most annoying artist on your Top Ten list.She’s been nominated for more awards than she’s actually ever won, but the fact that she is faithfully considered whether or not she even produces the fruit of worth is a clear testimony to the claim that I’m making here. NAACP recently granted her a trophy for Outstanding Female Artist, leaving artists like Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys to bask in the shadows of her continual glory. If it wasn’t for a shun by The Academy, then I’d say Beyoncé was thought to be the best at everything. Good for you Jennifer Hudson.

6) She’s the reason we no longer have Destiny’s Child.When “Beyoncé and the Girls” first stepped on the scene under their well-known alias, Destiny’s Child, it was clear for the world to see who was really headlining and who would remain in the shadows: our wonderful Queen B. Riddled with drama, rumored to be a result of a single spotlight on the ever talented Beyonce’, the group went from four to two, back to four, and then down to three and before you knew it, Beyoncé was running things on the airwaves with a flourishing solo career. Coincidence anyone?

7) She could learn to share the spotlight a little, couldn’t she?A lot of people wish Beyoncé would take a long vacation and let some other talent break the surface of our 24 Play. Maybe have a baby with Jay Z, or continue working on her blossoming acting career. Plain and simply, maybe she just need to keep herself busy and let some other voices crack through the sound of our stereo.

8) For the men… She’s got the world wanting to Upgrade U.Not like some of you don’t deserve the boot or need a reality check to create a higher standard, but it’s one thing to kick a cheater “to the left,” but it’s another to bring a better man into the picture to replace you.

9) Put a ring on it…Easier said than done B. I think the ladies of the world have already thought of this. But if I was sitting easy on $350 million, I’m sure I’d be up to my ear in proposals and jumping out windows to avoid them until I had them sign my pre-nup. The anthem makes sense, but it doesn’t take into account the plight of the real single ladies of this world. If we run out and dump our men just because they didn’t pop the question in our matrimonial time frame, then we’ll be “up in the club” feeling unnecessarily lonely. Then we’ll be singing with your sister crying about the plight of T.O.N.Y. Why bother?

10) She’s a sellout.A lot of people were deep in the fold when she rocked the mic with a passion on her solo debut Dangerously In Love. When she told us it was her B’Day, we stood in line ready to celebrate. But when she commercialized her music and offered us I am… Sasha Fierce, sure the album sold millions, possibly only off the name Beyoncé, but compared to her previous two offerings, the musical quality pales in comparison.

11) She’s overrated.To say the least in some peoples eyes. When you put a spotlight on depth and substance, Beyonce’s catalog of music is about as sturdy as a House of Cards. Sure she’s standing on the mountaintop, looking onward at a sea of counterparts, but did she make that ascent on merit, or does the fact that she fits the criteria of what the media considers “The Total Package,” carry her past the masses and gain her a position in the top spot? From song lyrics, to originality, to embodying everything it takes to be a real X-Factor, compared to other artists like Jill Scott, Sade’ or India Arie in some people’s opinion, she doesn’t really measure up. She’s got “the look,” “the sound,” “the style,” the worlds been waiting for, right? Marketing comes down to dollars and sense, even when at times it seems to make no sense. Mathematics. Unfortunately for us, we’re not the ones formulating the equations. It’s all about the Cha- Ching.

12) The “Blacker the Berry” isn’t always the “Sweeter the Juice”.We all know Beyoncé is a red bone, but even being that light isn’t enough to satisfy the media. In 2005, Vanity Fair denies rumors of lightening her image on the cover of their magazine, but now L’Oreal is currently under the radar for doing the same skin altering. I don’t know about you, but I love my brown skin.

13) She’s a hypocrite?She’s a devout Methodist, raised in the church and very strong in her faith, and when speaking out about the criticism towards her raunchy clothing and behavior, she has been quoted in saying, “I honestly believe [God] wants people to celebrate their bodies so long as you don’t compromise your Christianity in the process.” Is that so. Now she’s singing about feeling her Halo and finally finding her angel in Jay Z, yet last time I checked her man was an ex drug dealer. That might be viewed as a little contradictory when you consider the good girl image she continually tries to show us.

14) Jay Z is not that attractive.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but when you’re a high profile celebrity society tends to think you should be dating a handsome man like the Rock or the next LL Cool J. Beyoncé chose Jigga, who probably doesn’t stand a chance to becoming the next Mr. Universe, but because Beyoncé could have whomever she wants, people feel like they should have a say so in her love match also.

15) Jealousy.It’s easy to make a list of all the reasons why you could possibly hate a person, but if that list comes to you a little easy, then you may want to consider the real answer: jealousy. Beyoncé’s a great artist and I think people secretly wish they could be her. But if you work on being “you,” then you won’t have time to have a reason to hate on her.

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